The big A

I just read a blog about fetal pain and a woman who was denied an abortion when her water broke at 22 weeks, and the baby suffered for it longer than she should have.

I then went on to educate myself more about abortion.  I had been living in a bubble knowing what it was and yet denying myself from actually thinking about it.  I am pro choice and I will stay that way.  But after reading and seeing it, I could never do that to my baby.  Even the thought of a miscarriage freaks me out.  Abortion is a terrible thing, and the images I saw will be with me forever. 

I wish I hadn't gotten curious and let my fingers wander where they would.  I just, yeah, I feel sick. 

However, I do remain pro choice, women need the ability to choose, and they need to have a safe place to go through this life changing ordeal.  If you make it illegal you will be forcing these women into unsafe and dangerous territory.  The abortions will still happen, but women will die.  And any woman who is able to do this over and over without remorse, or even one time without remorse, there is something wrong with you.  Seriously.  Get help, or get your uterus removed.

On the road to the perfect diaper and other random crap

I have completely and irrevocably fallen in love with cloth diapering.  They are cute and the minky, oh the minky.  I want minky underwear, or pants, or bra.  I don't really care what it is but the minky is to die for. 

Getting back on track, I love how you can customize cloth diapers.  It is another way to treat your little smooshy baby like the mini barbie doll they are.  Because you aren't going with their likes and dislikes, you are going with yours and living vicariously through them.  For instance, I love stuffed animals, however I have reached an age where it isn't really acceptable to cuddle them and collect them any more.  Well, unless I want to be the crazy cat lady. So, I buy stuffed animals and claim I am getting them for the kids.

Jimmy, he's a meh kind of guy.  He went along with my whims to try cloth diapers, and he's cool with it.  I really wanted him to just love it, but being meh, I had to think of something awesomely brutal to wow him with.

Enter the Metalocalypse Diaper.  I looked for someone on Cafemom, in the Cuties with Cloth Booties group for someone to make me one.  Pff that was a fail.  I had given up hope when I stumbled across an ad on Craigslist for a woman who lives rather close to me who makes and sells these wonderful diapers.  I saw that she had WOW, Pirates, Owls, Butterflies, and all other kinds of embroidered diapers.  I thought could this be it?  I hit her up on FB and she was all for it.

I was SO excited!!!!  She was super helpful, and talked to me the whole way through.  There were tons of choices, which I hate making.  But she made it super easy.  And her name?  oh my gosh, I love it.  Velvet Rabbit Cloth and Ooberz diapers!  So cool, the Velveteen Rabbit was my fave story growing up.

So together, we came up with this.

BRUTAL!!!!!!!!!

Jimmy loved it, that's his leg in the image.  He is a huge Metalocalypse fan.  And he has gotten me hooked on it as well.

There will be others I want, I have thought about making my own, but I am going to definitely have her make me more.  I was thinking a Davis Pirates one, orange and black baby!

We shall see what the future holds. . . .

Who am I?

Monique got me thinking about well, me.  I used to be all about me, I used to think I was pretty interesting and fun to be with.  I used to have real life friends, and things to do.

Now however, I am a Mom first and foremost, and I think I have lost some pieces of me along the way.  I love my kids, and I wouldn't give them up for anything.  I like who they have helped me become.  I just think that it is time to find me again.

I love reading books.  Books are such a huge part of my life that I can't even imagine never reading another.  Jimmy tries to banish me from them.  He doesn't understand, I need the space they give me.  The way they take me away from where I am and put me into whatever world they contain.  Harry Potter was not just another book, it was a place and time for me.  I wish I had never seen the first movie.  It ruined how I saw my Harry, Ron and Professor Snape for months.  When I read it is a movie in my head, I see the characters, and the scenery.  I get into the words and it is very hard to pull me out of them.  I also go through them like mad and have a hard time rereading them.  There are some that I have had no problems with however.

The thing I love most besides books is music.  Music soothes me, pumps me up and helps me think.  I live for it.  I will listen to anything that plays.  There are only two kinds I do not like, Christmas music, and the Mexican stuff they play on the radio.  But if that was all that ever played then I would listen to it and love it.

I like all kinds of art, and yet I suck horribly at them all.  I can't draw to save my life though I wish I could.  I love photography even though I probably suck at it.  I really want a nice camera so that I can work on that skill.  I love to write, but my talent with words has begun to escape me the more time passes.

I have found a love of plants and I hope to nurture it and make it grow into something more.  I love getting my hands dirty and watching something grow that I planted knowing what I have done to help it along the way.  Plants fascinate me, you can literally cut off pieces of them and if you just add some dirt, water and sunshine you can make that piece of it grow.  Maybe I feel so close to plants because that is how I feel.  Like a piece of me has been cut off, but I am finally getting the chance to grow it into something new and beautiful.

I have gone through my fair share of tough times and I am just starting to come out of it.  I look forward to my new life, and I will make time for it.