Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Who am I?

Monique got me thinking about well, me.  I used to be all about me, I used to think I was pretty interesting and fun to be with.  I used to have real life friends, and things to do.

Now however, I am a Mom first and foremost, and I think I have lost some pieces of me along the way.  I love my kids, and I wouldn't give them up for anything.  I like who they have helped me become.  I just think that it is time to find me again.

I love reading books.  Books are such a huge part of my life that I can't even imagine never reading another.  Jimmy tries to banish me from them.  He doesn't understand, I need the space they give me.  The way they take me away from where I am and put me into whatever world they contain.  Harry Potter was not just another book, it was a place and time for me.  I wish I had never seen the first movie.  It ruined how I saw my Harry, Ron and Professor Snape for months.  When I read it is a movie in my head, I see the characters, and the scenery.  I get into the words and it is very hard to pull me out of them.  I also go through them like mad and have a hard time rereading them.  There are some that I have had no problems with however.

The thing I love most besides books is music.  Music soothes me, pumps me up and helps me think.  I live for it.  I will listen to anything that plays.  There are only two kinds I do not like, Christmas music, and the Mexican stuff they play on the radio.  But if that was all that ever played then I would listen to it and love it.

I like all kinds of art, and yet I suck horribly at them all.  I can't draw to save my life though I wish I could.  I love photography even though I probably suck at it.  I really want a nice camera so that I can work on that skill.  I love to write, but my talent with words has begun to escape me the more time passes.

I have found a love of plants and I hope to nurture it and make it grow into something more.  I love getting my hands dirty and watching something grow that I planted knowing what I have done to help it along the way.  Plants fascinate me, you can literally cut off pieces of them and if you just add some dirt, water and sunshine you can make that piece of it grow.  Maybe I feel so close to plants because that is how I feel.  Like a piece of me has been cut off, but I am finally getting the chance to grow it into something new and beautiful.

I have gone through my fair share of tough times and I am just starting to come out of it.  I look forward to my new life, and I will make time for it.


  1. Okalies, so in regards to your last post - I know the feeling all too well.
    I am not a fake person. Everything I say is a guttural response, it's precisely how I feel. I don't bother calling anyone a friend if I don't like them. And hell, I'm boring AND riddled with social anxiety.
    I have noticed that some can be fake under the guise of being "real and nice". I don't do facades, so I stay as far away from those people as I can. So, I worry too.

    I think it's so cool how good you are with the gardening stuff, I'd love to grow my own veggies and herbs. Maybe I'll be bugging you for tips if we get a house in NC! :)

  2. You could never bother me. I would love to help you grow a garden. Want to know a secret? I had a black thumb until Jimmy taught me all this stuff. It's really easy.
    Also, that's why I like you, because you are real, and a little like me. Thanks Mo, you're great!